Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
