If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
