My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
