okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
