Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
