Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
