My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize