I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Never joke about your clitoris.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
