first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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