Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
