i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
pop tarts are not kleenex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
