i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
