Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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