The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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