Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
