Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
