Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
