Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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