You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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