yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
