I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
