she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize