WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
