with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize