wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up under a house in Key West
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