I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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