Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize