Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
