The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
