Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
