Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
