About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When did we convert life to cartoon?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
