feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
