What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
