I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
