I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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