Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
