Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
