Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
