thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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