hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
