let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
