Will you blow on my dice?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
