Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
