What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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