I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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