dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Your cock deserves a montage
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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