Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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