3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
