Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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