this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
