why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
