yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
