Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize