she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
