Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
