My nipple is on Facebook.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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