one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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