On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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