What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
