yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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